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Dial an asshole answering machine message

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    Answering machine wavs left click on Sound to save. We discussed the situation before we left and we believe you are old enough to be responsible while we are away. Please be careful with matches and do not play with knifes and things should be ok until we back. Hang up the phone now. You may not realize it but right now I am having sex with your ear, and I know you like it because you are smiling. You may leave a message at the tone but then please call back because I am very very horney.
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    The Canonical List of Voice Mail and Answering Machine Messages

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    The QQQ Files » Extras » Answering Machine Messages

    Related: Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can't come to the phone right now o after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following word I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am Thanks for calling Dial-An-Asshole. Right now, all our assholes are busy.
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    Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages

    Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra" Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can. Rod Serling imitation You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead—this is no ordinary telephone answering device
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    It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Then in , the Ansafone, created by inventor Dr. In , PhoneMate introduced one of the first commercially viable answering machines, the Model
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